Why I read the novel?

This is a book recommended to me by a friend who seems to understand the issue of life more than I do. Thus, I thought it would be a good enrichment for the mind during the Chinese New Year. Lo and behold, the way the author tells the story is a masterpiece, portraying the fallibility and growth of human beings and with the mystic twist of the plot. The book is both educational and entertaining. The story ends with an encouraging notes, not just only for the women of author’s era, but also for myself today.

At the age of 36, the book, The Painted Veil, comes at the right time as I have some experience to comprehend what the author tries to tell readers. The story, though, took place nearly a century ago, the lessons about love, affair, marriage, duty , independence, courage, relationship, and adultery are equally valid today.

Extracted quotes from the story main characters

Love

• “To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.”
  (Chapter 25; this reflects the pain of unrequited or diminished love in a relationship, highlighting how one partner’s deep investment contrasts with the other’s casual view.)

• “Most people, as far as I can see, when they’re in love with someone and the love isn’t returned feel that they have a grievance. They grow angry and bitter. I wasn’t like that. I never expected you to love me, I didn’t see any reason that you should, I never thought myself very lovable.”
  (Page 36; spoken by her husband Walter, this explores unrequited love and self-awareness, showing resignation rather than resentment.)

• “He’s awfully in love with me.”
  (Page 6; a simple yet poignant line from Kitty about her husband Walter, underscoring the imbalance in their emotional connection.)

• “One can be very much in love with a woman without wishing to spend the rest of one’s life with her.”
  (A general reflection on transient passion versus commitment, often cited in reviews as capturing the fleeting nature of romantic love.)

• “I don’t ask you to forgive me. I don’t ask you to love me as you used to love me. But couldn’t we be friends? With all these people dying in thousands round us…”
  (Page 66; Kitty pleads with Walter amid the cholera epidemic, emphasizing how external crises can overshadow personal betrayals and redefine love as companionship.)

Affair/Adultery

• “If a man does not have what it takes for a woman’s love, then it is the fault of the man, not the woman.”
  (From a review discussing Kitty’s justification of her affair; this line critiques blame in infidelity, shifting responsibility to emotional shortcomings.)

• “Have you never thought that you owed her any loyalty?” “What the eye doesn’t see the heart doesn’t grieve for,” he smiled. (Chapter lxxv, the full exchange highlights themes of infidelity, self-deception, and moral cowardice.)

• “What did it really matter if a silly woman had committed adultery and why should her husband, face to face with the sublime, give it a thought?”
  (Page 67; this questions the significance of adultery in the grand scheme of life and death, suggesting perspective gained from hardship.)

• “She considers it as regrettable and shocking even but to be forgotten rather than to be repented of. It was like making a blunder at a party; there was nothing to do about it but to await the opportunity to remedy it: the blunder was retrieved and there was an end of it.”
  (From a video analysis; Kitty’s initial lack of remorse for her affair, treating it as a minor social faux pas rather than a moral failing.)

Marriage

• “Within three months of her marriage she knew that she had made a mistake; but it had been her mother’s fault even more than hers.”
  (Page 9; Kitty reflects on her hasty marriage to Walter, blaming societal and familial pressures for mismatched unions.)

• “It wouldn’t be a very good marriage for her, but it was a marriage, and the fact that she would live in China made it easier.”
  (Page 17; highlights the pragmatic, often unromantic motivations behind marriage, especially for women in the era.)

• “Doris, at eighteen, was making quite a good marriage, and she was twenty-five and single. Supposing she did not marry at all?”
  (Page 15; illustrates the societal stigma and urgency around marriage for women, driving Kitty’s decisions.)

• “Asymmetric romantic relationships dominate The Painted Veil. For Maugham, being in love necessitates engaging in a power dynamic where one party is stronger and more influential.”
  (From a thematic analysis; not a direct quote but encapsulates how marriage in the book often involves imbalance and control.)

Duty

• “Remember that it is nothing to do your duty, that is demanded of you and is no more meritorious than to wash your hands when they are dirty; the only thing that counts is the love of duty; when love and duty are one, then grace is in you and you will enjoy a happiness which passes all understanding.”
  (Page 104; spoken by the Mother Superior, this profound line merges duty with genuine passion, suggesting true fulfillment comes from internalized obligation rather than mere compliance.)

• “If he can’t get at him through his ambition he’ll get at him through his sense of duty.”
  (Page 38; refers to manipulating Walter via his strong sense of professional and moral duty.)

• “The struggle had been short and he had surrendered to his sense of duty.”
  (Page 123; Kitty’s father yields to familial responsibility, showing duty as a reluctant but inevitable force.)

Independence

• “How can I be independent when I owe everything to you?”
  (A sentiment echoed in reviews; Kitty grapples with her lack of autonomy in marriage and society, seeking self-reliance after her transformations.)

Courage

• “But there was a quality of courage in Mrs. Garstin which in itself was admirable.”
  (Page 11; praises Kitty’s mother’s resilience, tying courage to endurance in social ambitions.)

• “You’ve inspired me with courage. To go into the midst of a cholera epidemic will be a unique experience and if I die of it—well, I die.”
  (Page 43; Kitty finds bravery in facing danger, marking her growth.)

• “The sisters wondered at her Christian resignation and admired the courage with which she bore her loss.”
  (Page 106; others perceive Kitty’s stoicism as courage after Walter’s death.)

Relationship

• “Indifference displaced the blind and instinctive love of the past. Their meetings were a source of boredom and irritation.”
  (Page 107; describes how familial relationships evolve into detachment over time.)

• “I am glad to see you, my dear child. You show a fine courage in coming back here so soon after your great sorrow; and wisdom, for I am sure that a little work and the company of others will be good for you.”
  (Page 101; the Mother Superior on rebuilding relationships through shared purpose.)

The final passage

• (Kitty) She felt her father stiffen. He had never spoken of such things and it shocked him to hear these words in his daugther’s mouth. “Let me be frank just this once, father. I’ve been foolish and wicked and hateful. I’ve been terribly punished. I am determined to save my daughter from all that. I want her to be fearless and frank. I want her to be a person, independent of others because she is possessed of herself, and I want her to take life like a free man and make a better job of it than I have.”

• “Why, my love, you talk as though you were fifty. You’ve got all your life before you. You mustn’t be downhearted”

• Kitty shook her head and slowly smiled.

• “I’m not. I have hope and courage. The past is finished; let the dead bury their dead. It’s all uncertain, life and whatever is to come to me, but I enter upon it with a light and buoyant heart. It’s all confused, but vaguely I discern a pattern, and I see before me an inexhaustible richness, the mystery and the strangeness of everything, compassion and charity, the Way and the Wayfarer, and perhaps, in the end - God “ (Page 124; Kitty embraces future uncertainty with newfound courage and moral clarity.)

These quotes and passage capture the timeless lessons from the book’s narrative of personal growth amid betrayal and hardship. May you be on your way to have a better life.