Title: What to wear to toastmasters? A conflict on how we choose to live our life

Dear toastmasters and friends,

[Introduction] [interesting opening that creates an impact]

Today, my project is to share with you my understanding on how to resolve a conflict, a disagreement between individuals or groups. I’ve always thought I get along with most people in my life. However, after some honest reflection, I have figured out there is an ongoing conflict at FSTT about me.

[The beginning]

Recently, Aurora, your VPM, has pointed out to me that I have been wearing similar or the same clothes to FSTT meetings. This makes me look bad. This makes the club look bad. Me wearing very same clothes shows up in every club photo. The situation looks very unprofessional not only on me, but also for the club. As a dutiful VPM, she feels it is her obligation and responsibility to let me know about the seriousness of the situation and to help me resolve this personal issue on a corporate level.

Before I go on, let me put on my signature pullover.

Honestly, I did not know my clothing style is causing such a stir.

Since I am working on resolving conflicts in this toastmaster project. This seems like a perfect real-life opportunity for me to acquire new skills on some aspects of conflict resolution. .

To start, I must understand where she is coming from. So I said, “help me to understand your point so that I can empathize with you.”

[transition phrase] Here is how the conversation went

[lively conversation]

Aurora: You spend too much time at work. There is no work life balance in your life. You spend your holidays meeting your boss to discuss what to do and are busy doing the work during the workdays. After work, you attend technology conferences or events about technology trend and new opportunities. Everyone has only 24 hours a day. More work means less life.

Me: You mean Work-life balance. What life brings to you?

Aurora: Life brings a sense of belongings. We need close friends, friends that will be there for us , no matter what. Yet, this friendship needs nurturing. We need to feel we are a part of a community. In that community, we feel safe to express ourselves authentically, no holds barred . We enjoy life together as a group.. We share our stories – funny , sad and real.

Me: How are we not doing this already?

Aurora: FSTT stands for from speaker to trainer. Falling short of a community, we are like a school. We come to FSTT weekly to practice English and public speaking. Our membership fee is tuition. When our members can’t make it to the meetings, or when they feel their learning has stagnated, they drop out. We need to turn FSTT into a community.

Me: A community! after digging so deep, I now notice the root cause of the conflict, a different perspective on what FSTT is about. Is FSTT a school or a community of close friends?

I sincerely hope that one day we can turn FSTT into such a wonderful community of close friends in which we enjoy other’s company and help ourselves to grow on the journey. But that takes time and energy, but right now, few of us have either to spare.

Has the conflict been resolved?

Well, as you can see, I am still wearing the same clothes on the stage today, but I am expressing myself through different speeches. Likewise, I can express myself through wearing different clothes while giving the same speech.

Most importantly, through this honest conservation, Aurora and I have empathized each other point of views, both emotional and logical. This empathy builds trust amongst us. That trust forms the foundation for FSTT to evolve from a school to a true community of toastmasters. Thank you

What to Wear to Toastmasters? A Conflict About How We Live Our Lives Dear Toastmasters and friends, Introduction Today, I want to share with you my journey in resolving a conflict—one that unexpectedly arose right here in our club, FSTT. I’ve always thought I got along well with most people. But after some honest reflection, I realized there’s been an ongoing conflict about me… and it’s all about what I wear to our meetings. The Beginning Recently, Aurora, our Vice President Membership, gently pointed out that I often wear the same clothes to FSTT meetings. She said it looks unprofessional—not just for me, but for the club as a whole. Apparently, I show up in every club photo wearing the same outfit! As a responsible VPM, she felt it was her duty to bring this to my attention and help me address it. Before I go on, let me put on my signature pullover. (Pause for effect.) Honestly, I had no idea my clothing choices were causing such a stir. Since my current Toastmasters project is about conflict resolution, this seemed like the perfect real-life opportunity to learn and apply those skills. Understanding the Other Side The first step in resolving any conflict is to understand where the other person is coming from. So I asked Aurora, “Help me understand your point of view so I can truly empathize.” Here’s how our conversation went: Aurora: “You spend too much time working. There’s no work-life balance in your life. You spend holidays meeting your boss, attend tech conferences, and work long hours. Everyone has only 24 hours a day. More work means less life.” Me: “You mean work-life balance. What does ‘life’ mean to you?” Aurora: “Life means belonging. We need close friends who will be there for us no matter what. But friendships need nurturing. We need a community where we can be authentic, share our stories—funny, sad, real—and enjoy life together.” Me: “Isn’t that what we’re already doing at FSTT?” Aurora: “FSTT stands for ‘From Speaker to Trainer.’ But if we lack community, we’re just a school. We come weekly to practice English and public speaking. Our membership fee is like tuition. When members miss meetings or feel stuck, they drop out. We need to become a true community.” The Root Cause That conversation opened my eyes. The real conflict wasn’t about clothes—it was about how we see FSTT. Is it just a school, or can it become a warm, supportive community of friends? I hope one day we can build that community—a place where we enjoy each other’s company and grow together. But that takes time and energy, and right now, few of us have either to spare. Has the Conflict Been Resolved? Well, as you can see, I’m still wearing my signature pullover today. But I’m expressing myself through different speeches. Likewise, I can express myself with different clothes while giving the same speech. More importantly, through this honest conversation, Aurora and I have empathized with each other’s perspectives—both emotional and logical. That empathy builds trust, and trust is the foundation for FSTT to evolve from a school into a true Toastmasters community. Thank you.